When they did the egg retrieval, they told us the following:
- We’ll know in the morning how many eggs fertilized
- About 5-6 days later we’ll know how many grew to blastocysts
- Then we’ll know how many will have been biopsied for the brac2 gene.
- Then you’ll wait another 10-14 days to find out how many of those have the gene and how many are viable for pregnancy.
- You’ll get your period in about two weeks (took about 12 days from egg retrieval for me), and it will be much worse than your normal period (oh yeah it was! But only the first few days- I’m good at this point)
- Call us when you get your period.
So I did. And then then tell me we have 8 days to get you in for an ultrasound and start you on birth control. I asked for their first available appointment because if we have an option, I want to be jumping at it. Otherwise I’ll be waiting even longer….. so my appointment is on Valentine’s Day- I’ll go to work in the morning, drive down the street for this ten minute appointment, go back to work and call my hubs so I can make sure he picks up my script and I can start meds (hopefully!) when I get home. This whole waiting forever but is getting really quite old. I am however, starting to feel like myself again to some extent. I’m the least bloated that I’ve been since 2016, my stomach also looks less bloated, and in general I’m feeling more affectionate toward hubs again. Don’t get me wrong, I try to show my affection all the time, but it’s just hard to be as warm and fuzzy to someone who is stabbing you with needles three times a night and doesn’t have to get poked and prodded and examined and told exactly what you can and can’t do for seemingly forever. Having this break has been good, but it’s also been teadious. I’m struggling to get back to the me that I was before all of this. And simultaneously I don’t want to be the exact version of myself from a few months ago.
Anywho, here’s my next steps plan:
I’m going back to the gym. TODAY. Even if it means I go and just walk around for a bit.
I’m super cleaning the house after work and I’ll be finishing some projects as well.
I’m getting the office desk out of here so help me- I don’t care if I sell it for $15 or throw it out- it needs to go.
I’m going to prep some ideas for food for the next week. Mostly things that are coming with me to work so I stop buying lunches and/or just not eat until I can get home.
And most importantly, I’m going to trey to be happier. Somewhere along the way I’ve misplaced that sense of joy and happiness of the process of creating a new life. I need to find that again and drop a lot of the resentment. Not sure how that one’s going to go, but it has to for all of our sakes.