One week in

We’re now one week in since our FET, and so far still good. Last night was a doozy of a progesterone shot- typically hubs makes me have a dab of blood when he does the injection, but last night I thought he was going to faint from the blood. Like, there was actually enough of a sight gush that there were some spots on the floor and we had to use gauze….. ok so first things first- hubs freaked out, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that pale. Then was the question of “are you sure you didn’t see any blood when you drew the needle back?” The answer was absolutely sure that there was no blood in the syringe, so that’s good, but hubs really freaked that he messed it up. I can’t blame him, he hates blood, and being that my butt is behind me and I couldn’t see the gush he really did get the brunt of it until I got ahold of some gauze. So yeah, that happened and it was an adventure. Otherwise, it’s been going pretty well. I still hate the progesterone shots twice a day and feel like I have eggs in my butt from the knots, but I’m handling it the best I can. We do our blood work on Thursday so we’ll have an update then, but dear god it’s hard to wait. I mean, what if they say we’re not pregnant? What if it’s a false positive? Or a false negative? Or what if it’s a chemical pregnancy somehow? Or what if something else pops up that I’m not anxiously worried about? Sigh. Anxiety and pregnancy hormones really don’t mix. I don’t really feel all that different- my weird dreams have almost all stopped and I’m no longer waking up constantly throughout the night, but otherwise I feel fine. Every once in a while I get this  strange sort of gas feeling in my uterus-ish-area but it’s not actually gas. It’s more similar to how it was after the egg retrieval but not nearly that bad. Maybe it’s more like a semi-cramp, which they did say could happen and would be normal, but it doesn’t really feel like that either. Eh. Who knows, I’ve given up on understanding my body for the time being. I just want to know if I’m pregnant. And honestly, if I’m not, I’m taking time off work- and maybe flying down to Disney. And if I am pregnant, I need to start figuring other things out- like selling our home and finding another and figuring out when I’ll end at my current job and all of that stuff. I can’t let myself believe that I’m pregnant yet because I can’t allow myself to be that disappointed if they tell me that I’m not pregnant. I don’t think my heart can handle that kind of fall. Until then…… just relaxing and waiting and trying to keep my stress down.

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