Blood and miscarriage fears

Ok here’s the funny part: On the way home from work I had some gas and at one point I swear to you I thought I sharted. Not a proud moment but it’s life we have to laugh to avoid crying. I was able to joke it off with a phone call to a friend on my way back, but when I got home I realized it wasn’t what I thought, and instead I was in a pool of blood. Thank god for wearing dark dress pants today for work. Either way, instant terror. This isn’t like when I was spotting following the embryo transfer which was a dark older blood, this time it’s similar to fresh period blood with a constant cramping feeling. Hubs went back to Michigan for work this morning so I’m home by myself trying not to freak out. As such I had him call the on call nurse line. No way was I making that call. So it takes literally the longest any return call has been made up to this point in our IVF journey (over an hour) and I’m sitting around waiting and trying not to freak. I drive home and all of this started about 8:30pm. It’s 11:30pm and I’m still cramping and bleeding on and off. All I can think is “oh god what if I’m miscarrying” and all I can do is be here by myself with the dog. At least she’s staying close to me right now sleeping on hubs side of the bed. This whole thing sucks if we’re honest for a moment. Tonight I had to take my progesterone shot while bleeding and cramping and praying that the medication has been doing what it needs to and keeps this blasted baby in there. I literally have two knots on my butt, bruising, and a newly developed rash/welt thing from all of the shots and I’m just so done. All I want is baby to be ok and for this constant cramping to go away. Adding to the craziness, it started raining, if it thunders I’ll be up all night with the dog only to work bright and early until late tomorrow. Sigh. 

The on call nurse informed us that spotting is normal, and although more rare, it does happen that some pregnant women get cervical bleeding during their pregnancy. Apparently so long as I’m not hemorrhaging I’m fine to relax and stay at home. I’m supposed to avoid stairs (ha- we live in a split level and I was up and down those bad boys about 6 times before we found out not to do that), and to avoid bending much. 

So there you have it. I’m starting my seventh week of pregnancy cramping, bleeding, knotty, and bruised. Here’s to hoping we get a week eight. 

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